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John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner

THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE

GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY

This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.

(Source: timetoputonashow)

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Disney vs. 7 early fairytales 

The 1812 version of Snow White is even worse when you consider that the girl was only seven years old in the tale (plus her unconscious body ended up being carted around by the prince until one of his servants accidentally woke her up).  Also, in The Little Mermaid, the mermaid’s unable to speak because she had her tongue cut out >__<

But I’d love to see faithful adaptations of the original tales.  Especially Bluebeard.  We need a Bluebeard adaptation.

Actually, the original-original pre-Grimm Brothers’ stories that were passed around Europe via oral tradition are nowhere near as violent as the Grimm’s made them. Cinderella’s stepsisters were never ugly and kept their eyes, Snow White’s mother was not even a villain (instead a group of bandits were), and instead of spending the whole story napping Sleeping Beauty outwitted a dangerous bandit leader, wouldn’t let him sleep with her, and saved herself. 

The original oral stories were radically changed by the Brothers Grimm to fit their personal and political beliefs. Most notably, they often added in female characters solely for the purpose of making them evil villains and took away most of the heroines’ agency and intelligence. Both brothers belonged to a small fanatical sect of Catholicism that vilified women because of the idea of Original Sin and Wilhelm in particular had a particularly deep hatred of women. The Grimms were actually pretty horrible people. Those cannibalistic queens and ugly stepsisters and the mass amount of violence against women didn’t exist until the Grimms wanted them to. Their ideas stuck so soundly though that we now assume they were in the original tales and that these terrible characters and ideas come out of some perceived barbaric Old World culture. But in truth they’re really the Grimms’ weird obsession with hating women showing through. The original oral folklore focused on the heroes’ and heroines’ good deeds and used them as ways to teach cultural norms and a society’s rules and encouraged girls to be quick-witted and street-savvy instead of passive princesses, and the Grimms promptly stripped that all away. 

NOPE! Calling you out on your bullshit time.

First, the version of Cinderella that the Disney movie is based on is the (French) Perrault version; the Grimms version, Aschenputtel, is a Cinderella story, containing two stepsisters, a ball, and the infamous cutting off of toes and heels incident, but a Grimms adaptation of Aschenputtel would look radically different than the Perrault adaptation we got in Disney’s Cinderella.

Cinderella is one of the oldest and most widely-spread fairy tales in the world. There are literally Cinderella tales from every part of the world (the oldest known variant is from Ancient Greece, and there’s Ye Xian, an early Chinese variant). There is no “original” fairy tale, only the most popular versions. The Perrault version was the one that introduced the glass slipper (before that, it was fur, generally, but the French word for fur was remarkably similar to the word for glass, so it became the glass slipper), the fairy godmother, the pumpkin, and a couple of other things, and is the most famous version of the story.

The Joseph Jacobs version of Cinderella also includes the gruesome foot-cutting, as does the Norwegian version of Katie Woodencloak. The Scottish does as well, and the Greek version (Little Saddleslut) has the stepsisters getting hewn into pieces in the end. The Russian “The Little Birch” includes mutilation of the “sisters” as well, and there’s a Native American “Cinderella” that has the sisters being turned into trees at the end. A particularly memorable Chinese version has the stepmother and stepsister getting crushed by stones in the end, and the Story of Tam and Cam, the Vietnamese version, Tam (the “Cinderella”) is actually killed 3/4 of the way through the story by the mother and then is reincarnated in various ways, eventually getting her happy ending, and the evil sister is killed in a pot of boiling water at the end (at Tam’s request!). The “pecking out of eyes” thing was literally one of the only violent things that the Grimms brothers added to that story from the version they likely heard.

If anyone else is interested, here’s some links to Cinderella tales form around the world.

And your statement about Snow White is false too. Snow White’s mother/stepmother is ALWAYS evil (though sometimes every once in awhile it’s her sister). That’s a central part of the story. There are versions where the dwarves are instead robbers, but then again, there’s a version from Albania (that predates the Grimm version by at least 100 years) where the main character lives with 40 dragons and her sleep is caused by an enchanted ring. That version has the princess being urged to kill her stepmother and take her place. One of the earlier variations by Basile (who predated the Grimms by 100 years, and whose stories are often the source of many of the French and German adaptations of the tales) combines the Snow White and Sleeping Beauty tales with “The Young Slave.”

The one that I think you’re talking about, an Italian tale titled “Maria, the Wicked Stepmother, and the Seven Robbers,” a fairy tale that has her father abandon her in the woods (similar to Hansel and Gretel) and Maria come upon a house belonging to seven robbers, who welcomed her as long as she agreed to cook and clean for them. This also has the “ring caused the sleep” thing, and the Queen (The mother of the prince) was the one who removed it from her finger, causing Maria to wake up.

If you’re interested in the history of Snow White, here’s a link that can inform you, and here are links to collections of Snow White tales.

Also the Sleeping Beauty assertion is blatantly false, as a) Basile’s The Sun, Moon, and Talia is not a Grimms tale (and predates “Little Briar Rose,” The Grimms version, by almost 200 years, as does the wildly more popular Perrault version), and b) the whole point of the “Sleeping Beauty” fairy tale type is that the maiden sleeps. That’s the fairy tale type (Type-410). Which version are you talking about that she outwitted a bandit leader and saved herself?

As you can see, the Grimms really didn’t radically change the stories, and you’re just spouting off BS because you don’t like them. Once again, there are not “original oral stories” because many of these stories occur in various formats (Cinderella has 500 variants in Europe alone) from various time periods. They each have wildly different stories while keeping the same basic theme (which is why they’re in the Type: Cinderella or Type-Sleeping Maiden, etc). You obviously either didn’t do the research or you’re letting your hatred of the Grimms brothers cloud your analysis (I think both).

The Grimms brothers were devout Calvinists, hardly “a small sect of fanatical Catholicism.” Calvinism is a major branch of PROTESTANTISM, actually, and is still a major international denomination today. Most settlers in the New England and Mid-Atlantic region were Calvinists, actually, including the Puritans, the French Hugenot, and the Dutch settlers of New York. Today one of the most famous denominations that uses Calvinist theology is a little denomination called the Presbyterians.

The Grimms Brothers were not the only people whose versions of the fairy tales had less than active women (Perrault and Madame Beaumont, for instance, who predated them). You also don’t seem to know the methodology which the Grimms Brothers collected their tales: they went and talked to people and recorded their version of the story. You obviously have no background in fairy tales if you believe that cannibalistic queens and mass amounts of violence magically “didn’t exist” until the Grimms version. And actually, using fairy tales to teach morals didn’t really happen until Charles Perrault, so…

Please don’t perpetuate false knowledge, as people on Tumblr will eat it up without doing the research themselves.

What the Grimm brothers did was popularise these stories, there were several overlapping and conflicting versions (as is the wont of folk tales everywhere) of these stories and they simply consolidated and popularised them.

Reblogging, because a) Lovely teardown of someone who didn’t research their shit; and b) OMG, LINKS TO FUCKING FAIRY TALES! I FUCKING LOVE FAIRY TALES. REALLY, YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA.

*Cough* Okay, better now.

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